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February 26 2017

man kailangan kong umayos. umayos ka puta. tama nang feelings. wala akong paki. be manhid. fuck feelings. be your own person. be the best that there is because there are no teams. it's you against the world. learn and love to be on your own. 

June 29 2015

There is more to life than love. And if jeopardize mine for something that isn't even there, tanga ako. 

Plus these dreams only show me what isn't there and what will never be. There comes a time when you just have to stop and realize that you're chasing someone who will never love you back. 

You're never going to go to my area just to visit. You're never going to think of visiting me because you missed me. You will never truly miss me the way I missed you. What was important and full of meaning to me obviously doesn't mean the same to you. You aren't going to insert me in your schedule. You aren't going to think of me that way. 

And it's okay. 

Maybe we're meant to fall in love with some people to realize that there are better things in store for us. That kind of love takes time and might not go for whom you think it is intended for, but it will go to who it is for. 

You aren't wrong about the concept of love. Just about the person.
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"It just wasn't me that you were right about."
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okay well fuck 

sometimes it hurts. most days it doesn't anymore. which is good i guess.
i just wish i stopped seeing you. 

i just wish i stopped seeing you in my dreams. 

i just wish i stopped wishing to see you. 

you need to get out.

June 21 2015

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June 20 2015

Eventful day! well maybe not for my bio 12 (WHICH WILL CHANGE STARTING IN A FEW HOURS), but for my personal life!

Today is the last day i cry about something that was never there. today is the last day i cry about you.

and to move on, here are a few things i am doing:
1. accepting that you do not like me. And that's fine! so what?? i am awesome. there is more to life than love. i am perfectly adequate and fine. it is definitely your loss. 
Even if i entertain the possibility that you liked me, it still stands at 0.001%. and that is not enough motivation to hang on and waste my time waiting for the odds to increase, which may never happen. 

2. Accepting that our horoscropes don't match. superstitious, no?? horoscopes are funny and i prefer not to believe in them, but at this point, i just want to do everything to make me stop liking you. 

3. listing down your flaws and why i am better off without you. well, it is kind of a negative thing, but it is for the greater good, AKA MY MOVING ON!!! And anyway, everyone has flaws! i don't see myself as perfect. i know my flaws. t is just that now, more than ever, i need to unidealize you and become more aware of your imperfections!
So what are these bad traits??
A. you are short.
B. you failed 2 subjects (or more??)
C. you aren't the sharpest.
D. you asked me to rate some girls!!!
E. i think you are insecure about the size of your penis. 
F. You tweet way too much about ball. 
G. you reply way too slow. 
H. you don't like me back???? HAHAHAHAHA 

4. Preoccupying myself with activities that will yield more immediate and tangible results AKA MY STUDIES, MY REAL PRIORITY. i am not letting this go on further because i might jeopardize myself further down the road. 

5. cutting all ties. i have deleted your number, muted you from Twitter, IG, and FB, and deleted all our conversations. nothing to remind me of you anytime soon. this includes your cousin (sorry nadamay ka, Gino).

6. not going to DLSU anytime soon, or anywhere for that matter. 
A. i might see you
B. no time to go out 
C. gotta minimize expenses 

7. be honest with my feelings towards the next guy (kung mayroon. i mean hello ain't nobody got time for feelings). 

8. pray. i love you Lord!!!

1. you are amazing just the way you are. 
2. enough with the binge eating. end this cycle of feeling sorry for yourself. get productive and move on.
3. winner don't make excuses. in short, you have no one to thank but yourself, and no one to blame either.
4. stop accepting crap and demand better things.
5. never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
6. there is more to life than love.
7. the best of us get rejected. you cannot please everyone or have the one you are pining for all the time.
8. no guy is worth your tears or feeling bad for, especially if you were never in a relationship.
9. No mistakes are commited if you learned from them.
10. you have goals, not dreams. 
11. you study in UP Diliman. you are creme dela creme. the best of the best. you have the potential to ace your subjects. you have what it takes to achieve your goals. While it is said that no one wants you to fail and your grades are your fault, there are just some sadist professors. DO NOT GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. 
12. Animus: spirit, courage, passion, wrath. prove the people who doubted you wrong. Retalliate. put on a fight. give them hell. hold on.
13. listen to your brain, not your heart or ovaries. AKA RATIONALITY AND LOGIC OVER IRRATIONALITY AND EMOTION. 
14. have some fire. be unstoppable. be on your own. there are no teams. it is every man for themself. be the best. do things for yourself.
15. if it is possible to love someone so much that you would do anything for them, be that person and do whatever you want. dominate. 
16. when someone pushes you down, get up and keep your crown on at all times.
17. return to your glory days. 
18. fight for yourself and no one else. you are existentially alone. it's just you at the end of the day. live for yourself. you have this one life.
19. nasa tao ang gawa, pero nasa Diyos ang awa. in other words, you need to pray or else nothing will happen. it is not a requirement but then again, who made you awesome? who gave it all? God.
20. you are awesome. any guy or girl that makes you feel otherwise is meaningless. 
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